


The Theory of the First Kiss

by trixiechick



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Kissing, M/M, bad language, fashion magazines are bad for your soul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2018-01-01 15:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixiechick/pseuds/trixiechick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anna reads an interesting article and sets out to determine her own fate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Theory of the First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> had this idea for ages and ages, was feeling compelled to write it for fushimi's birthday (but i'm super late for that...) and then decided [the recent King cards](http://marchen-v-friedhof.tumblr.com/post/66878467438/new-fushimi-saruhiko-and-kushina-anna-ssr-cards) were an omen so.

If there was such a think as a _perfectly ordinary_ Sunday at Homra, this was it. Kusanagi was polishing his glassware, Totsuka was snoozing on the couch, Yata was groaning from a hangover and eating breakfast at a table, and Anna was sitting at the bar, reading. The light coming in from the windows at the ceiling was bright and yellow, so it was sufficient as illumination. If more guys started to show up, it might get noisy, but for the moment it was peaceful.

Naturally, that couldn't last.

Anna was unusually engrossed in what she was reading. This was not actually unusual, but the way she was hunched over her reading material, Kusanagi couldn't see what she was reading, and that part was unusual. He finished with the stemware, so he sauntered over to make sure she was all right.

"Anna-chan? You need anything more to eat?"

Anna looked up at him for a moment without speaking. "Izumo. When was your first kiss?"

Kusanagi blinked. He heard Totsuka's breathing change. _Of course_ , that brat would wake up when something interesting was happening. He was like a cat like that. Yata even stopped shoveling rice into his face. 

"Wh-where's this coming from?" Kusanagi tried to laugh it off.

Anna's eyes were clear and serious. "Izumo," she repeated. "When was your first kiss?"

He certainly would not do something as silly as _break out into a sweat_. "Weeeellll, I think it might have been a really long time ago? I'm not sure..." he laughed, peeking over at Totsuka.

Sure enough, that brat was looking over the edge of the couch, and laughing at him. "Aw, Kusanagi-san, that's not nice! That's a precious memory for some sweet girl, and you've forgotten all about it!"

"What are you talking about?" Kusanagi snapped. "It wasn't _her_ first kiss! She was four years older than me!"

"So you _do_ remember!" Totsuka out and out laughed. 

Kusanagi hung his head in shame. He'd been duped by the King of Brats...

"Mm, you like older women..." Anna noted to herself. "Tatara? Your first kiss?"

"Oh, my turn!" Totsuka sat up, acting as if he were cute. "Let me think... I was in third grade! I kissed Kumi-chan. She was a good friend of mine, and we kissed to win a bet!"

"Huh, so with a friend..." Anna mused. "Misaki..."

"What are you reading there, anyway, Anna-chan!?" Yata jumped to his feet, lunging across the room to grab Anna's magazine, ignoring her tiny protest. "What's... this... _A woman's first kiss is the prelude to her romantic life, a man's first kiss is the prelude to his... sex life?!_ Who let you read stuff like this? This is a fashion magazine! Anna-chan, you're too young for this stuff!" Yata pointed at her, his arm trembling.

"Tatara had his first kiss with a friend before my age," Anna frowned. She didn't like being told she was too young.

"If Yata-chan's first kiss is the prelude to his sex life, does that mean he's never going to have a--" Totsuka started. Kusanagi had to turn away to keep from laughing out loud.

"SHUT UP! LITTLE GIRLS SHOULDN'T BE READING THIS CRAP! IT'LL POISON YOUR SWEET MIND WITH ALL KINDSA FUCKED UP SHIT LIKE NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE OR SOMETHING!" Yata crumpled up the magazine and burned it to ash.

"Hey, sweep that up!" Kusanagi scowled.

"Where did you even get that?" Yata asked Anna, like a big brother would question a sibling about found porn.

She pointed to a table in the corner. "It was there."

"Some dumbass shit customer probably left that behind last night..." Yata scowled. He almost looked like he wanted to burn the offending corner of the bar, but before he could do anything he'd live only just barely long enough to regret, a bucket and mop was shoved into him.

"Congratulations! Your ridiculous overreaction has earned you the right to wash the whole floor!" Kusanagi informed Yata, who whined, his shoulders sagging with defeat.

Snickering, Totsuka came out from his hidey-hole and reached out to Anna. "C'mon, Anna-chan, let's get out of Yata-chan's way. Where would you like to go this beautiful Sunday morning?"

Anna took his hand, but she was still looking at the pile of ashes on the floor, thinking. "Park."

  


* * *

  


Fushimi tapped his pen on the notepad he'd brought, which was perched on his knee. He was the only one sitting in the Captain's little traditional area who wasn't sitting in seiza, and he was still annoyed with how uncomfortable he was. He was also annoyed about being up before noon on a Sunday when he wasn't on patrol, and he was annoyed that he was sitting in the Captain's office, and he was annoyed that every other fucking blue around him kept agreeing so cheerfully to every damned annoying thing the Captain said.

It was about as typical Sunday as Fushimi had experienced since he'd joined Scepter 4.

"Fushimi-kun? Are we failing to keep your interest?" Captain Munakata asked as Fushimi yawned, loudly.

" _Yes_ ," Fushimi answered with cutting honesty.

This, however, like most things that Fushimi said, served only to amuse Munakata. "Ah. We shall endeavor to be more scintillating for your benefit, then. Did you get that last item?"

" _Of course_ ," Fushimi rolled his eyes. In a monotone, he repeated, " _At least three tubs of red bean paste_. Tch."

"Very good," Munakata smiled brightly. "Then, I think the next order of business would be _entertainment_..."

Fushimi groaned, just knowing that anything the Captain could consider as being _entertaining_ for Lt. Awashima would be a huge pain in the ass. However, before the Captain could say something idiotic like _clowns_ or _dancing teddy bears_ , there was a quick knock at the door, which then opened a crack.

Fuse peeked in, looking sheepish. "Ah, excuse me... but... F-Fushimi-san, there's a v-visitor for you in the lobby..."

"Eh?" he snapped. "What the hell is the matter with you? You're interrupting your _Captain's_ very important meeting to tell me I've got some kinda _guest?_ " There wasn't a single person on the planet Fushimi could think of who he'd want to see, and they had to finish this stupid party planning meeting before Awashima returned from patrol...

"Ah! I'm very sorry! Captain!" Fuse bowed to Munakata, who nodded at him pleasantly. 

"Tch," Fushimi shook his head, so damned annoyed.

"It's... it's just that..." Fushimi glared at Fuse, and he continued on in a rush. "It's that little girl from Homra, Kushina Anna?" He stared at his boots, turning bright red. "I can give her a message or..."

Fushimi got to his feet in a hurry, and halfway nodded to Munakata. "Sorry, C'pn, but something's come up," he walked quickly to the door, and slammed his notepad into Fuse's chest. "Here, you take my place. You're now in charge of red bean paste." He left the office without a look back, ignoring the protests behind him.

His boot heels clacked viciously on the highly polished floors of Scepter 4. He didn't run, but he walked faster than some could run anyway. He could imagine a handful of scenarios which would involve Anna coming to Scepter 4 to ask for him, and none of them were particularly pleasant to think about. At the very least, a little girl, a strain and a red clansman, of such power shouldn't be dawdling around in the lobby of Scepter 4 unnecessarily, anyway.

He swept into the lobby, and the girl working reception, her jacket about two sizes too small, perhaps in a foolish attempt to compete with Awashima when it came to cleavage, tried to catch his eye, but he headed straight for his target.

Anna hopped off the small chair she'd been sitting on, and looked up at him with her empty but haunting expression. "Saruhiko."

He got down to one knee to look her in the eye. As always, she was wearing a cute ensemble in red, with gothic lace and prim little shoes, and a small pillbox hat tied neatly to her head. "Anna-chan, what's wrong?"

"Saruhiko," she repeated, and he was aware that the people in the reception area were reacting to her use of his given name, "I'm lost."

He blinked and she stared at him. He closed his eyes and dropped his head, a sudden moment of déjà vu overtook him. The image of her stuck between vending machines, insisting that she was fine, swam before his eyes. "Anna-chan..." he sighed.

"Saruhiko. I'm lost."

He sighed. "Anna-chan... how could you... where were you... _before_ you were lost?" 

She looked hesitant to answer him. "Tatara took me to the park, and then I got lost."

Fushimi rolled his eyes. "Anna-chan," he started, trying to be stern. "If Totsuka-san took you to a _park_ , it would have to have been near Homra. How did you get all the way over here?"

She watched him. "I got lost," she repeated.

He sighed. "You sure are a stubborn one. Well, I can sort of respect that... but Anna-chan, you know, I'm not in Homra anymore..." he looked her in the eye.

"Your red is all changed. It's sad," she sighed, touching his chest, his burn.

He gently moved her hand away. "Yes, I'm in Scepter 4 now. So you shouldn't be coming to me for things."

"I'm lost," she insisted, looking at him, her shoulders squared off.

"Fine, I get it, you're lost. I'll call Kusanagi-san, then, and he'll come..." he started to get up, feeling exhausted already.

She latched onto his jacket. "Saruhiko. _You_ take me."

"Anna," his shoulders sagged. "Like I said, I'm not in Homra. I'm in Scepter 4. I can't leave my job," he waved his arm around vaguely, wondering if sitting around like a doofus planning a stupid party for his stupid boss really qualified as a _job_ , "just because you come and visit. I've... I've got responsibilities here..." That was theoretically true, but all his responsibilities were annoying and stupid. Plus, everyone he worked with was a moron.

Anna tugged on his jacket and looked up at him, her face perfectly expressionless. "Saruhiko. You take me home."

It was useless. Did anyone ever win a fight against Anna? How in the fuck had someone actually imprisoned and tortured her? That jackoff had to be one of the most evil people in the world. "Fi~ne, fine, I'll take you back, but not _all_ the way to Homra. Just until you can find your own way. You're a big girl, right?"

She straightened her shoulders and glared at him.

He smiled down at her, and shrugged. Technically, he shouldn't leave the building in his uniform without his saber, and he shouldn't be in his uniform if he wasn't working. Technically. "Ok, then, let's go."

He started to walk off, but she quickly went to his side and grabbed onto his hand.

"Eh?" He looked down at her. "I'm not Mikoto-san."

"I know," she replied calmly, holding onto him even tighter. 

"I'm not Totsuka-san, either," he tried to reason with her, making a weak attempt to free his hand.

"Saruhiko. Don't you know how to treat a lady?" she balefully asked him.

"I know better than most guys, sure," he replied, but what he knew had nothing to do with walking them down the street. Well, whatever, it was fine. He held her hand, and guided her off the campus of Scepter 4, heading off in the direction of Homra. "You're kind of a troublemaker, didja know that?" he asked her.

She didn't reply, but she looked up at him with innocent eyes.

"And don't think I'm buying this act of yours, either," he grumbled.

They got about four or five blocks quietly, and then Anna pointed to a cart selling crepes. "Saruhiko."

"No, Anna-chan, you can have a snack when you get back. Kusanagi-san will make you something delicious," he tried to explain to her.

She stared up at him. "Strawberry, please."

This was getting out of hand. He went to the damned cart, though, and ordered her a damned strawberry crepe, and they sat down on a damned bench so she could eat the damned thing, and it was huge, and it was spilling, and she was neatly trying to keep up, and it was cute, but still.

Fushimi sighed and scooped up a huge dollop of cream, knowing she wouldn't like the non-red parts as well, anyway.

She watched him clean his finger off. "Indirect kiss," she said quietly.

"No," he shook his head. "That only counts if it's someone you like."

She watched him warily, like she was sure he was lying to her, but she went back to eating.

He stretched out and put his arms out, one reaching behind her. He tipped his head back, being annoyed by how damned sunny it was. He might get a burn. So annoying. After a few minutes, he checked on her. She was finished, but her hands had gotten sticky with strawberry syrup, and she was doing her best to wipe them clean with the napkin, but it was useless because the napkin was mostly messy, too. 

"No, you've got to get 'em wet," he told her. He picked up one of her tiny hands and licked it clean with big swipes of his tongue. "Like that," he assured her.

She was looking at him distrustfully. He gave her his handkerchief, and took the napkin to throw it away. When he got back, she was delicately cleaning her fingers with her tongue, and she looked just like a cat. He shook his head. 

"Be careful of bad adults, Anna-chan. If anyone ever says anything nasty to you, call for the Red King, and watch 'em run. Then later point 'em out to Mikoto-san so he can burn 'em."

She gave him a funny look. "Like bad adults who lick my hands?" she asked.

"Only if they lick _both_ hands," he nodded to her.

He held out his hand to her, and even though she was still looking at him funny, she took it. They cut across the park they were in, and headed down the street. Damn, it was a long walk back to Homra. Fushimi tried to think of what train might be better, or if he should get a cab.

"When was your first kiss? Saruhiko?" 

"Eh?" he frowned slightly. "I dunno. I guess I was about nine or ten. A girl who worked with my mom wanted to kiss me. She was young... she wanted her first to be with, well, someone not scary." Right, that station... he led Anna off.

Anna's little legs worked hard to keep up with him. He picked her up to go over the turnstile and then jumped it himself. He shouldn't do this in his uniform, but only fucking morons paid to ride the train. That was just a fact he'd known since he was little. They got on a train, and Anna pressed herself very close to him, which was cute because she was still giving him weird looks.

"Did you like her?" she asked quietly, when the hubbub around them calmed enough so he could hear her.

"Hm? Who?"

"The girl you kissed."

"Oh. She was fine. I guess. She wanted to sleep with me, too, but my mom stopped her," he shrugged.

Anna was watching him, so he watched her. Which... no, there was no way Anna would ever lose a staring contest. "Why are you asking about this, anyway?"

"Do you miss Misaki?" she asked him.

Fushimi sighed. Of course, there was no point in trying to understand her. "That little shit? Of course not."

"Liar," she replied quickly.

"Well, if you already know the answer, don't ask the question," he told her, tapping her head with his fist. 

She quickly reached up to make sure her hat was all right. "Do you like that man?"

"That man?" he frowned. "Oh, you mean Munakata, huh? Eh... I can deal with him. I guess." He shrugged. _Like_ was too strong a word, but he wouldn't exactly use _dislike_ , either.

Actually, Fushimi didn't give a shit about Munakata.

Anna frowned, and then stared at the floor ahead of them. They arrived at their station, so Fushimi took her hand and led her down. When they got out to the street, Anna sighed. "You should have stayed with us. Saruhiko."

"Is that so?" he bitterly laughed. "But I didn't fit in there," he told her.

She stopped. He gave a tug, but once again, she was determined to be stubborn. "Izumo's first kiss was with an older woman. Tatara's was with a friend."

"Well, I s'pose that makes perfect sense," he shrugged. He didn't really understand...

"Misaki didn't tell me about his," she said quietly.

Fushimi snorted. "That little virgin is too afraid of girls," he laughed. "I'm surprised he can talk normally with you."

"You've kissed him," Anna said matter-of-factly.

Fushimi stared down at her, in awe of her perceptions. However... "He wouldn't think that would count," he sighed, bitter. "C'mon, let's get you back..." He tugged again, but she was still rooted to the spot.

"Saruhiko. Carry me."

He stared at her and she stared at him and she wasn't about to tell him it was a joke, so... "You can walk!" he objected.

"Saruhiko," she pouted just a tiny, tiny bit, but it was enough. "Carry me." She let go of his hands, and held her arms up.

Sighing, Fushimi gave up. He picked her up. "You know, you're a bit heavy for this kind of thing."

"Mikoto doesn't mind," she replied primly.

"Mikoto-san isn't human," he seethed.

"He is," she replied.

Fushimi shook his head, not bothering to let himself get into an argument with Mikoto's number one supporter. "What's with all this first kiss talk, anyway?"

Anna shrugged. "It's an omen."

"Eh?" he furrowed his brow. "Is it?"

She nodded solemnly. 

"So. What about yours, then?" he sighed.

She shook her head. But then, "Mikoto... does that count?"

"Uh," he thought about it. If Mikoto had really kissed her, it would probably be on the cheek or forehead. Even then, Fushimi had trouble picturing it. "No... I think that's more like a family kiss. It doesn't count unless there's tongue."

She nodded. "I thought so."

Fushimi was amused enough to not even care about carrying her for a bit. 

He didn't notice it, but she was keeping her eyes fixed ahead of them. Something got her attention, and then she latched onto his collar. "Saruhiko."

"Yeah?" he frowned, looking at her.

She leaned in and kissed him. She even shoved her tongue at him. He nearly dropped her in shock, but she jumped off in time to land neatly. "Thank you!" she dashed off. 

Right into Mikoto-san's arms.

He was standing there, glaring at Fushimi. 

Totsuka, at his side, was nearly falling over laughing.

Fushimi was frozen in his spot, until Mikoto, who had picked Anna up, turned to walk away. His heart hammering in his chest, Fushimi turned to head back.

  


* * *

  


Totsuka was still laughing two blocks later. Figuring he wouldn't stop laughing for a while, Mikoto frowned at Anna. "What was _that_ about?"

"Saruhiko helped me," she replied, cuddling closely.

"Don't rely on that guy," Mikoto sighed. "He's not trustworthy. And no more kissing. I mean. For a while."

Totsuka wiped his eyes, his laughter under control for the most part. "So, your first kiss... is how your romantic life will go, huh? So I guess that means you'll be in charge, huh?"

Anna nodded solemnly.

Mikoto shook his head. "You two... why pick _him? _"__

"Saruhiko is the type to love someone with his whole being," Anna replied calmly.

"Does that guy really love anyone but himself?" Mikoto mused. 

"Sure he does," Totsuka nodded. "But, Anna-chan, he's also the type to make his lover miserable!"

She nodded, but shrugged. "That's fine.

"I'm used to that."

  


* * *

  


Fushimi finally got back to Scepter 4, and he headed straight up to his room. Akiyama was waiting for him, like a goddamned little _nursemaid_ , but that was his business and had nothing to do with Fushimi.

"The Captain wanted to know when you got back," he said amicably.

"Well, be a good little acolyte, then, and run off and tell him," Fushimi replied.

"I think he wanted _you_ to come see him," Akiyama tilted his head to the side.

"I think I don't give a shit what he wanted," Fushimi sighed, pushing his hair out of his face. Damn, it had been an annoying day...

And now Akiyama was, for some reason, in his dorm room with him. 

Fushimi gave him a withering look, but Akiyama ignored it. "So, you were babysitting for Homra today?"

"Don't underestimate Anna-chan," Fushimi warned him. 

"The receptionist was jealous because you two went out hand in hand," Akiyama made a face, amused. "She thought maybe Anna-chan was your girlfriend."

Fushimi rolled his eyes. "I'm not a pedophile."

"Of course not," Akiyama nodded.

"She did kiss me, though," Fushimi shuddered. "Tongue and all."

"There's something seriously wrong with you," Akiyama deadpanned.

"Well, you're kind of an expert in my demonic charms, right? So you tell me. Hey. When was your first kiss?" Fushimi asked, tossing his jacket aside. 

"What? Why are you asking me something like that?" Akiyama seemed uncomfortable.

That was fucking hilarious. Fushimi kicked his boots off and then jumped on his bed, stretching his legs out. "What? I'm taking an interest in you for once. Just humor me."

Akiyama did not look happy, but he sighed, closing his eyes. "Uh... I guess I was in sixth grade? A girl grabbed me and kissed me at graduation. And she took my button."

Fushimi just stared him. "Poor gayer-than-fuck Hiromi-chan. That musta been so traumatic for you."

"Go fuck yourself," Akiyama replied, but he was a bit rattled. "Why are you even asking?"

"It's an omen," Fushimi replied. When Akiyama did not look at all satisfied, he continued, "I guess it shows what kind of romantic life you'll have? So that means you're going to spend your whole life getting fucked by people who aren't your type at all," Fushimi laughed.

No wonder Akiyama ended up under him so much.

"And I suppose your first kiss was with some whore?" he asked, sounding tired.

"Yup," Fushimi replied, smiling. "She was really into it, too. I guess that means I'll spend my life being adored by people who bore me. Aren't we the fucking match made in heaven?"

"Sure," Akiyama rolled his eyes. "Tell yourself that while you're fucking yourself. I guess I'll report to the Captain."

"If he doesn't let you blow him as a reward, you can always come back and suck my dick," Fushimi smirked.

"You're an ass who will spend the rest of his life in a gutter," Akiyama replied.

"Well, sure, I was born in one," Fushimi smirked, and made an obscene gesture with his tongue at Akiyama, who quickly escaped to the hall. Fushimi laughed.

Anna made him her first kiss? Because it was an omen?

She was fucked, then.

  


* * *

  



End file.
